images of a physical reality

Another round of photography the past few weeks saw me meeting up with Adeline to go to the zoo as well as joining up with 5 other PMers in KL to catch some pictures of the homeless in KL. All in all, I’m proud to say that I’m starting to hate color compared to B&W due to my lack of imagination or to my personal hate towards the medium. Things just seem to be more dramatic and brings a different type of meaning which is more abstract than plain ol’ color. I’m just bias but oh well…

The zoo was a pretty fun experience. The opportunties of catching decent pictures of animals are limitless there if you know where to look. Great if you’re an animal lover. I’m not much of an animal lover (except for turtles and them large bulls, I don’t know why) but it definitely helped me to improve myself in composition.

The place was relatively empty. Imagine, we were the only people inside Merry Brown when we stopped there for lunch. We made it a point to walk the entire zoo as one of the objectives of the day. Although we sat on the tram for a bit, we backtracked to walk the rest of the way we missed as a personal achievement haha! I don’t think anyone would care much but we had fun anyhow. The Merry Brown was really pathetic and I really wonder if their business is actually sustainable during the weekends hmm…

Bad points? Just the heat mainly. Good company, cute animals and my new lens helped to enrich the experience lots. Thanks Adeline for asking me to go. I doubt I would have thought about the zoo if not for her.

For the Homeless in KL project, its main purpose was for us to approach the homeless in KL and interview them as well as take pictures in the hopes of learning the person behind the begger on the street. We wanted to know the details of his demise to show to others that beggers just aren’t a nuisance but rather people like you and me.

The day began with it drizzling down on use. Me being the newbie, neglected to bring a wiping cloth and had to settle for a small plastic bag as protection for my lil’ camera. It gave me a chance to try out my new 50mm in low-light conditions as well. Suffice to say, I was better off than most of them when it was getting darker at the end of the day.

As it was raining for the most of the time that I arrived there, we hardly managed to meet any homeless people while Evan (the National Geographic guy) kept on complaining that it was a syndicate as they all seemed to disappear when we were all touting our SLRs about. After searching for about half an hour or so, Evan managed to locate one who was waiting under the Pasar Seni LRT station who had a baddly deformed leg due to a freak accident 5 years ago. Apparently, based on Evan’s explanation after his interview with the man, the accident bent his leg inward permanently disabling him to walk properly ever again. He’s been staying at the Pasar Seni LRT station for the most of the time the past 5 years. He did not allow us to take direct pictures of him as he complained that recently, TV3 did an interview with him but put him in bad light when the article was published calling him a fake. Either that or people who read it thought he was fake. Trust me, if you saw his leg you will know that at least HE is not a fake.

Later on, we walked along the side of Pasar Seni itself where I managed to snap a few decent pictures of a street performer crooning ‘Oh Carol’ to the small disinterested audience there. We were probably the more interested crowd snapping away at him while he was crooning and one of us even gave him a tip for his time. The McDonalds there too had a few homeless sleeping outside of it which we gingerly took pictures of. Our snapping caught the attention of the manager there who shooed the begger away in fear of bad publicity IMHO. It was kinda sad as it was mainly our fault that he was shooed away in that manner.

Walking near that area, we managed to locate the same man who was shooed away smoking a cheap cigar outside an abandoned shop lot. We took this opportunity to talk to him (well me trying to anyway with Evan doing most of the talking) to learn about him instead. Apparently, he was ‘jampi-ed’ by some people a few months back and has thus lost all of his worldy possesions in the process. He was trying to explain to me that the ‘jampi’ affected his arms and legs making him incompetent at any work. Before his ‘jampi’ incident, he was actually a security guard at Bentong (wherever that is). He was rambling and crying at this point telling us to not trust anyone with out IC as apparently, his was stolen thus making it even more difficult to locate employment. He said that even the police nor his friends were interested in helping him. I did not manage to take his picture as he was directing his conversation towards me and Evan but some of the others managed to take amazing pictures of him which can be seen at www.photomalaysia.com splattered across the main screen. Fazli’s (The one who took the picture) picture is picture of the week.

We stopped by at Kota Raya itself to take some pictures of the blind man there who plays a guitar there. I felt we were quite shameless as we had no fears taking pictures of a blind man. Must summon more courage next time to talk more. Would never be a good photojournalist if I can’t even talk to them haih.

We had KFC for dinner and ended up in Blue Boy Mansion (The old old building mentioned in the previous photography post) yet again as most of the group hasn’t been there before except for me and Evan. Finally, we went to the corner of Lot 10 and Sungei Wang and managed to get the BBoys there to break a few moves for us to photograph. Unsurprisingly, their moves and our snapping drew a rather large crowd in a small amount of time.

Overall, after reviewing my pictures, I’m glad to say I have noticed a significant improvement in my photography. This is most likely due to the exposure and tutelage (of some sort anyway) from all the PMers that I have met. A big thank you goes out to all of them. Anyhow, shall be going for yet another shoot tomorrow and maybe even the upcoming festival where local stars and even the Prime Minister will be attending. Hopefully will manage to get some decent pics. Check my profile to see some of my uploaded pictures from that shoot.

I have finally managed to enter the Internet world again. Immediately after my exams, my PC crashed on me and no manner of repair has allowed me to even start my PC again. Currently blogging on a Mac Mini which I’ve borrowed from a friend. Thanks Jason! Anyhow, just to recap the last few weeks…

Computer crashed and weeks of tweaking, hardware changes (practically a new PC after all my investments) and even minor bashing did not manage to make it work. Trust me, my PC has been reformatted at least 15-20 times and I even bought a new hard disk to no avail. I’ve even changed the motherboard 3 times, new DVD ROM, new graphics processor, new AMD processor, etc etc etc. And what am I doing now? Using my friend’s Mac… Sigh… Well, the good news is that I’ll probably be getting a new PC after I come back from Japan. Probably decide to get an eMac, I doubt it’ll give me the same problems as my PC.

Exams have long been over and I realise I hate being bored. For the past few weeks, I’ve packed my schedule so that day after day I had something interesting to do. Eventually, this made me broke as well which is why I’m home today heh! Managed to get a lot of things done, mainly meeting up with old friends as well as shopping for all the stuff I need to go to Japan with. I even applied for my visa all by myself! I feel so pathetic heh!

Well, as you can very well expect, I’ve been using my time fully through photography. Week in week out I’m out there snapping away. And just to reply to your statement Seng Yew, I only develop my film and not print them thus halves the price I pay somewhat but yes it is still very expensive. I scan the pictures using a film scanner to view them and only print the good ones. Hence, why I’m always broke. Who knows, maybe in Japan I might get a good DSLR for cheap. Again, I am dreaming.

Again, refer to my post regarding the street shoot I attended with the same group recently for further info on my photographic activities. Shall try to post up some scans of mine to show you the recent pictures I took.

Yesterday I had a day filled with only one thing in mind: photography. Woke up early to catch the morning train to Menara PanGlobal to attend Jen Siow’s photography workshop. Jen Siow is famous for his 360 degrees VR photography used for cars and architectural interiors. After that, I met up with some other photographers from PhotoMalaysia.com and we spent the rest of the night snapping away at various things of interest in BB Walk, KL.

The workshop was interesting to say the least. I went there early and they gave out freebie Olympus caps who were the main sponsor. Being the first time I’m attending such a workshop, going there alone was a different experience. For starters, there were more than a 100 participants who REALLY came from all walks of life. I was surprised to see a lot of middle-aged women attending with their little compacts. I was rather amazed (not in a bad way) and the first person I talked to that day was a lady named Amanda who sat beside me. I met a lot of other people as well including JobStreet staff (Who were the organizers), an engineer called Desmond, a financial consultant whom I can’t remember the name as well as a few hardcore enthusiasts. To be honest, none of the people whom were my age were actually friendly which me ended up talking to all these ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties’. I’m being bias I’m sure, I’m not THAT young anymore. Not that old either, come to think of it hmm….

Couldn’t get used to responding to people when they asked me if I was a photographer. I usually replied, "No, actually, I’m unemployed" and give them a  big smile. Well, coming out of college forces me to change my mannerisms in public which is something I’ll have to get used to. The entire first half of the workshop was kinda boring for me, covering most of the things I already knew. But of course, no disrespect as there were many beginners in the workshop who found it very interesting. The high point of the day was actually lunch. They served a buffet lunch at the rooftop of Menara PanGlobal which had a very decent view of KL. Needless to say, after having my pleasant lunch, I was busy snapping away and annoying the other guests. Nearing the end, they also provided four models for use to happily snap away at. It was a more interesting experience but I didn’t enjoy that segment very much because I was using film without an external flash. Basically, it was too dark to take any decent pictures which is why I decided to save my film. Overall, I’ll give the event 4/5 stars because of its better than expected food, good view, models (3 were pretty attractive) as well as some other interesting information which I was able to pick up. I’m sure most people there found the information he provided insightful. They also had a lucky draw where they gave out a free Olympus digital camera as the grand prize. Wish I won, then at least I’ll have some extra cash. Oh well…

After that, I rushed over to the McDonalds in front of Lot 10 to meet up with the other PhotoMalaysia people (PMers for short). Although not quite the people I had expected, they were still interesting and great people. Our group had 6 members in total with 2 other PMers just joining us for the ride for awhile. The 6 of us had a total of 8 cameras because the meeting organizer guy brought 3 huge Canon film SLRs just for this occasion. Apparently, he carries all of them around regardless of what kind of shoot he is doing.

We went to the corner where some Malay boys were skateboarding and took their pictures. They were more than happy to do it when the most experienced guy in our group (Who’s a very young Malaysian National Geographic photographer and the guy with the 3 cameras) asked for their permission. They were posing and doing tricks for us to photograph and we actually drew a crowd from all that photosnapping that we were doing.  Later we went along Jalan Alor into the back allies where Evan (The NG photographer) brought us to what he said was the oldest building in KL. The lifts were creaky and used buttons unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. He also told us that the building actually has 9 floors even though the schematics state that there was only 8 floors. The ninth floor is actually an ‘illegal’ floor. As a tradeoff for not getting evicted, those staying on the ninth floor had to help pump the lifts whenever it broke down which was quite often many times a day. Even our short excursion there the lift broke down. Luckily we weren’t in it at that time though.

We headed back to the corner with the streetboarders to watch the local Malay guys breakdance which usually happens every weekend. However, we were in better luck as the front of Sungei Wang was actually having a breakdance competition with pro-breakdancers all the way from Korea. Needless to say, the group was trigger-happy yet again. Unfortunately for me, I had to leave early as I had to meet my friend who was supposed to pick me up. Even during that short period of time, I went through more than 10 rolls of film and most of them B&W! I can’t wait to see how the results came out. Next week I’ll be joining the same group for a daytime excursion of KL photographing the homeless. Again, we want to do it with respect and humility and will ask permission beforehand of course. Will post here again describing that incident next week. Till then…

These are the extractions of my previous post which I was unable to complete cuz it was raining at that time and my connection was completely severed. It even made my downstairs phone ring continuously which irritated the hell out of me. Anyway, the title was supposed to be "The End To A New Beginning" so hence the first line. Anyhow, since it was written when I was in a different emotional state than I am now, I shall not continue the post and just post a new one now. Please do read further after this section. Thank you.

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Yes, I know it sounds like a new Star Wars movie. A very bad production one, I might add. Anyway, exams are finally over and I’m a free man. Well, almost free anyway, out of the jungle and into the working prison. My objective is to be free, free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want without being forced to do something that is my responsibility. I want to be able to have the assurity that all my responsibilites can and will be taken care of with minimum of thought. And ultimately, I want to have the freedom to pursue my dreams and my goals.

The last few weeks have been pretty rocky for me. It was difficult having to study and placate the emotional turmoil inside me. To hear things that I didn’t want to hear and to push them away into a corner where it would not affect me is not something that I don’t normally do but as the days went by, I found harder and harder to do. But I do thank God for providing me with caring friends who stand by my side during my time of need. Their support has been my inspiration in sustaining and actually overcoming this hurdle which has been brought before me.

Today, I reached a crossroad in my life where I completed a journey which I will hopefully (God willing) never have to repeat. Not to say that I do not enjoy learning new things but to be put in a situation where it actually dulls one’s creativity, I rather be making rojak at the roadside. My education is to honor my parents and nothing more, nothing less. Although it has bestowed upon me valuble knowledge which I would never used in life, I’ll be sure to forget all those things that make no practical meaning in life and begin storing information that would benefit me for the future.
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Today was definitely an eventful day for me. The overwhelming feelings from yesterday dissipated as I fully indulged myself in my one true passion the whole day. Photography really changed me into someone totally different. It does amaze me how immersed I can be when it comes to photography and how it can bring people together regardless of age, gender or race. However, further details on my day’s events shall be in the next post under the photography category. I think I talk too much about photography here

Well, suffice to say, right now I’m only thinking of one thing: MONEY! And of course, Japan! Can’t wait to get money and can’t wait to get to Japan. I’ll need a lot of money if I were to go there and enjoy comfortably. But then again, I’ve already made the choice to rough it out so I guess that is what I’ll have to do and like it.

The feeling of being free was really different that what I would have expected. Yesterday, instead of going out and partying, I stayed at home and did nothing. I tried to update my blog but the lightning wouldn’t let me finish. I went out to town with my new car and guess what, my car broke down in the middle of KL right outside Sungei Wang and at the corner of Times Square. Whee! I had so much fun that time. Sigh, it was a terrible day for me yesterday. And to think, the one day that I thought would have made me happy left me empty instead. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure as hell glad I don’t have to go through the whole college thing anymore but I guess the events that happened throughout the previous weeks left me very much drained. All I can hope for is for better things to come.

Well, I guess I should end here now as I want to continue up on my day’s events. Do read that too as its not only gonna be interesting for those who like photography.

In around 24 hours, the beginning of my final examinations are about to begin. During this one week period, I shall not be uploading any posts until the 15th of April. Exams come first and quite frankly, I’m scared shitless. Studying has not been going well and I shall devote the entire next 24 hours to my first paper on Monday morning. Hopefully with this last push for salvation, I shall surprise myself and surpass my own expectations. How I wish but then again, I’m always the dreamer.

The lack of sleep has taken its toll and my mind has not been able to absorb as much as I would like. Hopefully by tomorrow, with enough rest, I shall be able to memorize everything in time for the exam. This current post will be relatively short as I can feel sleep beckoning me… Wish me luck to anyone who reads this. I wish you all a pleasant week as well. Good night…

I was a little surprise to receive some comments for my first blog entry but nevertheless, pleased by all means. Thank you very much for sharing Cen Nee (I do hope this is how your name is spelled as we HAVE not been in contact for quite some time ) and Hanna. Please do share your comments to me as they mean a great deal to me, even the simplest of things.

Spent the day contemplating how my life would be after graduating from college. The world seems a strange and new place for me as a whole new chapter unfolds in my life. I bet most people go through the same phase as they reach this point but its definitely a whole new experience for me. The challenge of facing new obstacles scares and excites me at the same time.

Studying has been no easy task for me as the pressure to excel has caused me more than a few grey hairs over the past few days. Can’t wait for examinations to be over because thats when my life really begins. Unlike most people I know, I want to begin my career more than anything else. To be independent. To struggle and achieve success that would spiral me forward to even greater heights. To be the best I can be. And, to make my dreams into a reality. I live in constant fear that I would succumb to the pressures of life and fail to realize my dreams. But, with great determination, I will persevere and hopefully achieve my insatiable desires.

Photography has become my one only passion in life within the short span of two months. An avenue to finally display my creative expressions. One of those dreams that most people would not believe would happen to you. The one dream that I want to make happen for myself. For sure, I have a long road ahead of me, longer than most based on what I want to achieve. But nothing comes without due effort and everyday I make another step to improve myself to reach those goals. Hopefully, your support is there for me.

This is a rather lengthy post but I would just like to credit Marcus Yam for my main picture which I use in friendster. Although we’re not close, I admire Marcus’s works as I deem him one of the best amateur photojournalist Malaysia can offer and I sincerely hope that he realizes his goal to be one of the top photojournalist in Malaysia or the world even (I assume this is his goal ). I realized that I’ve been using his picture of me all this while and have not thanked him for allowing me to use it all this while.

I’m always amazed whenever a new day brings new understanding to me. I’ve always wondered how someone grows wise. The everyday process of learning something new and understanding a different perspective definitely helps us to grow in strange and bizarre ways into what we call adulthood. For me today, the existence of love and its power to control men and women alike has led me to believe this: Love is a double-edged sword.

For each and every different individual, love holds a different meaning to them. For some, its the ultimate sacrifice. Others, its the physical act of sex. Some even consider pain to be love (Think Ja Rule). For me, love is definitely a very exciting and exhilirating experience but it has the power to bring you so far down for the very same reason. For example, if a person has the ability to make someone fall so madly in love with him/her, that person also has the power to take that love away. When giving love to someone, we also give that person the power to cause great sadness upon us.

For the person on the receiving end, of course this makes it very dangerous to ever trust our feelings with someone else. Sometimes I feel, this is what makes people afraid of just ‘getting’ into a relationship, guys or girls alike. One may fear to hurt or be hurt. So what causes someone to go ahead with it anyway? A blind leap of faith? Blindly hoping that it’ll work? Or the belief that this is the one?

With this thought in mind, it has put me into this weird loophold. Imagine this: I can’t be with someone I really care about anymore because I’m afraid I’m gonna hurt the people that I really care about. But having a relationship is to be with someone you really care about right? Right??? Ah well, I guess I’m just rambling about something that has no definite answer. I believe I will continue this inner self debate when I become wiser. Lets just hope that it doesn’t come with heartache for me or anyone else.

Note* Previos blog posts were from www.xanga.com/analogstories. Have been moved here permanently for convenience